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The Thanksgiving of 1959by C.S. ScotkinThe day before my eleventh Thanksgiving was a nightmare. By Thanksgiving morning I understood my calling in life. My sister, Em, and I grew more and more worried as the day ended. It was cold and gray in the kitchen, snowing outside. Mother’s red eyes plainly screamed, “No questions”. There was no need for questions; we knew Dad would come in late and drunk, minus paycheck. We ate our macaroni with margarine. Would Dad bring some apples from Dan’s Orchard? He had been working there for two months, repairing an old barn. Dan often gave him a few apples to bring home to us. Our ice box held nothing but milk for our baby sister, Ella. On a low shelf sat a half jar of mayonnaise and four slices of bread.Mother couldn’t ask for help. To ask for help was to admit you married a drunk. The whole town would know.“You made your bed now sleep in it,” no matter how many babies you birthed into dysfunctional poverty. There was no greater sin than to be on welfare. I knew if Mother had to choose between welfare and killing herself, taking us along for the ride, she would not choose welfare. She wouldn’t file beer money jar animated for divorce —what would people say? I would have said hooray, but she never asked for my opinion.Dad came home at eight, drunker than Cooter Brown. He could scarcely walk. He tracked with him a snowy beer stench. In his hands he juggled his Thanksgiving bonus from Dan — one freshly slaughtered turkey, weighing at least 35 pounds. It was twice the size of Ella sleeping in the old crib, three times too big to put into the oven. He shoved the turkey at Mom, then handed her the rest of his pay, about $15.00. The money would need to stretch for the entire week.Mother snapped. We stared at her slow motions, made in silent insanity. She chucked that turkey through the closed kitchen window. While Mom’s insanity was silent, that awful crash was not. Dad’s insanity was loud, cursing. He fell to peeling linoleum, out cold. Mother escaped to their bedroom. There, she dressed in layered clothing until she looked twice her normal size. Silently, she left the house for the old Ford, where she curled into fetal position on the backseat. Once more we were abandoned, nonexistent..Lying in the snow drift was more food than we had seen on our table in weeks. We decided to retrieve Mr. Turkey. . Together we carried him in, butchered the bird with knives we were not allowed to touch and stashed his parts in the ice box. We descended old splintered stairs to the cellar for plywood. Em was only eight.She feared there were monsters under the stairs. “Those are just little mice trying to make a bed, Em. Don’t be afraid”. I was afraid of the monsters upstairs. The plywood I nailed over the broken window did little to keep out cold winds. I threw a blanket over the old man. We took Ella into our bed. The house was so cold; we wouldn’t allow her to freeze to death. We piled blankets, coats and prayers over us. I had no idea what penance I would have to perform for committing adulthood at eleven.Em and I panicked when morning came. Where was Ella? We crept downstairs. There was Mother feeding our baby sister. Dad was glazing the broken window, whistling. Hot oatmeal steamed in cracked bowls. Mother glared across the room, we were fluent eye readers.(“It never happened, don’t you dare tell anyone!”) She spoke with her happy voice. “Eat your breakfast, we’ll go to church before we go the Grandma’s . Wear your pretty dresses.”They were making us crazy. At that moment I knew my calling.I would be sane.
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The Thanksgiving of 1959by C.S. ScotkinThe day before my eleventh Thanksgiving was a nightmare. By Thanksgiving morning I understood my calling in life. My sister, Em, and I grew more and more worried as the day ended. It was cold and gray in the kitchen, snowing outside. Mother’s red eyes plainly screamed, “No questions”. There was no need for questions; we knew Dad would come in late and drunk, minus paycheck. We ate our macaroni with margarine. Would Dad bring some apples from Dan’s Orchard? He had been working there for two months, repairing an old barn. Dan often gave him a few apples to bring home to us. Our ice box held nothing but milk for our baby sister, Ella. On a low shelf sat a half jar of mayonnaise and four slices of bread.Mother couldn’t ask for help. To ask for help was to admit you married a drunk. The whole town would know.“You made your bed now sleep in it,” no matter how many babies you birthed into dysfunctional poverty. There was no greater sin than to be on welfare. I knew if Mother had to choose between welfare and killing herself, taking us along for the ride, she would not choose welfare. She wouldn’t file beer money jar animated for divorce —what would people say? I would have said hooray, but she never asked for my opinion.Dad came home at eight, drunker than Cooter Brown. He could scarcely walk. He tracked with him a snowy beer stench. In his hands he juggled his Thanksgiving bonus from Dan — one freshly slaughtered turkey, weighing at least 35 pounds. It was twice the size of Ella sleeping in the old crib, three times too big to put into the oven. He shoved the turkey at Mom, then handed her the rest of his pay, about $15.00. The money would need to stretch for the entire week.Mother snapped. We stared at her slow motions, made in silent insanity. She chucked that turkey through the closed kitchen window. While Mom’s insanity was silent, that awful crash was not. Dad’s insanity was loud, cursing. He fell to peeling linoleum, out cold. Mother escaped to their bedroom. There, she dressed in layered clothing until she looked twice her normal size. Silently, she left the house for the old Ford, where she curled into fetal position on the backseat. Once more we were abandoned, nonexistent..Lying in the snow drift was more food than we had seen on our table in weeks. We decided to retrieve Mr. Turkey. . Together we carried him in, butchered the bird with knives we were not allowed to touch and stashed his parts in the ice box. We descended old splintered stairs to the cellar for plywood. Em was only eight.She feared there were monsters under the stairs. “Those are just little mice trying to make a bed, Em. Don’t be afraid”. I was afraid of the monsters upstairs. The plywood I nailed over the broken window did little to keep out cold winds. I threw a blanket over the old man. We took Ella into our bed. The house was so cold; we wouldn’t allow her to freeze to death. We piled blankets, coats and prayers over us. I had no idea what penance I would have to perform for committing adulthood at eleven.Em and I panicked when morning came. Where was Ella? We crept downstairs. There was Mother feeding our baby sister. Dad was glazing the broken window, whistling. Hot oatmeal steamed in cracked bowls. Mother glared across the room, we were fluent eye readers.(“It never happened, don’t you dare tell anyone!”) She spoke with her happy voice. “Eat your breakfast, we’ll go to church before we go the Grandma’s . Wear your pretty dresses.”They were making us crazy. At that moment I knew my calling.I would be sane.
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