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Have you seen this article by Dennis Miller?
Dennis Miller is not Jewish and uses comedy to share some brilliantcomments. He recently had the following to say about the Middle East situation:”A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a serviceto all Americans who still don’t get it, I now offer you the story ofthe Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you Really need.Here we go:The Palestinians want their own country. There’s just one thing aboutthat: There are no Palestinians. It’s a made up word. Israel wascalled Palestine for two thousand years. Like “Wiccan,”"Palestinian”sounds ancient but is really a modern invention. Before the Israeliswon the land in the 1967 war, Gaza was owned by Egypt, the West Bank wasowned by Jordan, and there were no “Palestinians.”As soon as the Jews took over and started growing oranges as big asbasketballs, what do you know, say hello to the “Palestinians,” weepingfor their deep bond with their lost “land” and “nation.”So for the sake of honesty, let’s not use the word “Palestinian” anymore to describe these delightful folks, who dance for joy at ourdefeats until someone points out they’re being taped. Instead, let’scall them what they are: “Other Arabs Who Can’t Accomplish Anything InLife And Would Rather Wrap Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama OfEternal Struggle And Death.”I know that’s a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this,then: “Adjacent Jew-Haters.” Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters wanttheir own country. Oops, just one more thing: No, they don’t. Theycould’ve had their own country any time in the last thirty years,especially two years ago at Camp David. But if you have your owncountry, you have to have traffic lights and garbage trucks and Chambersof commerce bank truck driving s Commerce, and, worse, you actually have to figure out some way tomake a living.That’s no fun. No, they want what all the other Jew-Haters in the regionwant: Israel. They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course–that’s where the real fun is — but mostly they want Israel.Why? For one thing, trying to destroy Israel – or “The Zionist Entity”as their textbooks call it — for the last fifty years has allowed therulers of Arab countries to divert the attention of their own peopleaway from the fact that they’re the blue-ribbon most illiterate,poorest, and tribally backward on God’s Earth, and if you’ve ever beenaround God’s Earth, you know that’s really saying something.It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes poeticabout the great history and culture of the Muslim Mideast. Unless I’mmissing something, the Arabs haven’t given anything to the world sinceAlgebra, and, by the way, thanks a hell of a lot for that one.Chew this around and spit it out: Five hundred million Arabs; fiveMillion Jews. Think of all the Arab countries as a football field, andIsrael as a pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now thesesame folks swear that if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches,everyone will be pals..Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the string of wars toobliterate the tiny country and the constant din of rabid blood oaths todrive every Jew into the sea? Oh, that? We were just kidding.My friend, Kevin Rooney, made a gorgeous point the other day: Justreverse the numbers. Imagine five hundred million Jews and five millionArabs. I was stunned at the simple brilliance of it. Can anyonepicture the Jews strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite tothemselves? Of course not.Or marshaling every fiber and force at their disposal for generations todrive a tiny Arab State into the sea? Nonsense. Or dancing for joy atthe murder of innocents? Impossible. Or spreading and believinghorrible lies about the Arabs baking their bread with the blood ofchildren?Disgusting.No, as you know, left to themselves in a world of peace, the worst Jewswould ever do to people is debate them to death.Mr. Bush, God bless him, is walking a tightrope. I understand that withvital operations in Iraq and others, it’s in our interest, as Americans,to try to stabilize our Arab allies as much as possible, and, after all,that can’t be much harder than stabilizing a roomful of super modelswho’ve just had their drugs taken awayHowever, in any big-picture strategy, there’s always a danger of losingmoral weight. We’ve already lost some. After September 11th ourpresident told us and the world he was going to root out all terroristsand the countries that supported them. Beautiful. Then the Israelis,after months and months of having the equivalent of an Oklahoma Cityevery week (and then every day) start to do the same thing we did, andwe tell them to show restraint.If America were being attacked with an Oklahoma City every day, we wouldall very shortly be screaming for the administration to just be donewith it and kill everything south of the Mediterranean and east of theJordan.This diatribe is actually part of a column by humorist Larry Miller which appeared in the Daily Standard on 22 April 2002. It is a reaction piece to a 10 April 2002 FOX News Network interview conducted by Greta van Susteren with Ishmael Abu-Shanab, spokesman for the Hamas political wing in the Gaza strip, and American attorney Stanley Cohen, who has represented the head of Hamas.
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